Luke 3:2-3

...during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John son of Zechariah in the wilderness. He went into all the region around the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.

I imagine it was not an easy life within the lands of the harsh Jordon desert. His days would have been filled just finding sustenance and water. A good meal was a handful of locust and honey. He wore animal skins and fashioned belts and footwear from animal hide. It is written that as he grew older he roamed alone throughout the lands. I can’t imagine what terrible conditions he faced and the loneliness would have played havoc on his mind and soul. Likely he tried to survive on his own will with no help. Sometimes perhaps near death. It is during such times that people can find the deepest truths and experience the most powerful breakthroughs. I imagine it was during such times that he gave up his will and called out for a higher power to help him. None of this happened early in his life but nearing age 30 towards his imminent death. There he found strength and resolve to believe in a calling of a better life. To share that belief, to give himself to a calling and “call out from the wilderness” to baptize others. It is known that John baptized Jesus. He believed Jesus was the chosen one, not himself. The Baptisms cleansed past and sins, forgave and offered a new beginning with God.

I have spent most of my 62 years as an atheist. During the journey I knew something was missing and slowly became agnostic neither denying nor accepting a higher power known as God. That changed shortly after the death of our son Connor at age 29 on November 28, 2022. He lived a hard 14 years battling addictions and mental health challenges. He fought hard, he was spiritual and taught me much about kindness and humanity for others despite hating himself, he was on a journey to find God. On many occasions he told us that he was not meant for this world. After his death I asked “is that it”? “Is that the end of Connor and he doesn’t live on”? I did not deal with his passing well nor my own challenges; during these very very dark moments of life I came to believe that Connor was now in a better place. That his spirit does live on and he is doing well for others, and himself, just in another world or dimension. During these moments I opened my mind and heart to a higher power. God did not abandon me, God was always there. In some sense I’ve come in from the wilderness.

Prayer: Lord, make me a channel for thy peace---that where there is hatred, I may bring love----that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness…..I may bring faith where there is despair…It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.

- Peter Coutts